Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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