They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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