Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
