I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize