I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
