I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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