He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
