the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
