i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
