He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
