If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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