there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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