My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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