If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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