i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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