i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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