i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
