Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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