google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
