How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
