due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she peed on how many people?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
