i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
