and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
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Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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