His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
