They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
