Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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