A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
