guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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