Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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