Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
