i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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