I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
