making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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