well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
