Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a beard to bite.
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