I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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