He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
