I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
