As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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