Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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