Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
