When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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