I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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