There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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