I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
