it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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