and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
