Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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