And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
