You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
