Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well you can't waste a boner
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
