Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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