Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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