yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
