i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
