there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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