Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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