So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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