I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
