I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
