Buhtt sex?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize