Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
