i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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